Bharat ek Khoj... Shristi sey pehley sat nahi thaa

Here's a blast from the past

One of my favourite TV serials, it was first telecast when I was in class 5 or 6 ... in those days , when history classes were the most boring things, it made history seem interesting to me ... Aptly named "Bharat ek Khoj" ... it was the story of Indian history, as told by Jawharlal Nehru in his book "Discovery of India"...

I especially liked the title tracks ... they had a distinct sound and aura about them

Yesterday ... I did some googling to dig out the mp3s and some info on the tracks ... The tracks are actually recitations of Sanskrit originals and Hindi adaptations of Nasadiya sukta and Hiranyagarbha sukta ... These Hymns (sukta) can be found in Mandal 10 (book 10) of Rig Veda.

Opening Track (click to hear/download the MP3)

(Sanskrit Rig Veda 10.129.1)
nāsadāsīn no sadāsīt tadānīṃ nāsīd rajo no vyomāparo yat |
kimāvarīvaḥ kuha kasya śarmannambhaḥ kimāsīd ghahanaṃ ghabhīram ||

(Hindi adaptation Rig Veda 10.129.1)
srishti se pehaley sat nahi thaa, asat bhi nahi
antariksh bhi nahi, aakaash bhi nahi thaa
chipa tha kya, kahan, kisney dhaka thaa
us pal to agam atal jal bhi kahan thaa

(Hindi adaptation Rig Veda 10.129.7)
srishti ka kaun hai karta, karta hai va akarta
oonche aakaash mey rehta, sada adhyaksh bana rehta
vahi such-much mey jaanta, ya nahi bhi jaanta
hai kisi ko nahi pata, nahi pata, nahi hai pataa, nahi hai pataa


Closing Track (click to hear/download the MP3)

(Sanskrit Rig Veda 10.121.1)
hiraṇyagharbhaḥ samavartatāghre bhūtasya jātaḥ patirekaāsīt |
sa dādhāra pṛthivīṃ dyāmutemāṃ kasmai devāyahaviṣā vidhema ||

(Hindi adaptation Rig Veda 10.121.1)
vah thaa Hiranyagarbh shristi sey pehley vidyamaan
vahi to saarey bhuut jaat ka swami mahaan
jo hai astitvamaan dharti aasmaan dhaaran kar
aisey kis devata ki upaasanaa karen hum havi dekar

(Hindi adaptation Rig Veda 10.121.5)
jiskey bal par taejomay hai ambar
prithvi hari-bhari sthaapit-sthir
swarg aur suuraj bhi sthir
aisey kis devata ki upaasanaa karen hum havi dekar

(Hindi adaptation Rig Veda 10.121.7)
garbh mey apney agni dhaaran kar payda kar
vyaapa thaa jal idhar-udhar neechey-ooper
jaga jo devoon ka ekmayv praan ban kar
aisey kis devata ki upaasanaa karen hum havi dekar

(Hindi adaptation Rig Veda 10.121.9)
ho.. srishti nirmaata swarg rachayta poorvaj raksha kar
satya dharm palak atul jal niyaamak raksha kar
phaili hain dishaayen baahu jaisi uski submey subpar
aisey hi devata ki upaasanaa karen hum havi dekar
aisey hi devata ki upaasanaa karen hum havi dekar


Now ... my Sanskrit is a bit rusty ... in fact my Sanskrit was always rusty ... never shined even a bit ... I could not graduate beyond "Ramah kandukain seh kridanti" and "Vrikshe patrani pattanti" ( I think these words are grammatically incorrect Sanskrit for "Ram's playing with the ball" and "Leaves fall from the tree") ... I have some questions which someone with better command of Sanskrit/Vedas can possibly answer - Can we call the couplets or verses (which are part of a sukta) in Rig Veda Shlokas? can we call them Mantras? are they called Rik ? ... What is the difference between a Shlok, a Mantr and a Rik ?

That's all for this post ... will soon write something on Sudoku

About Men's Health

Folks I got some footage in print media

"Men's Health" Magazine (India Edition, June 07) carries a few picture and an article by me.
:-)

pages of interest 58-60

and the story continues ....

Regular folks know that this blog has become (almost solely) about my Lymphoma ... I am not comfortable with the "oh poor me" undertone which(I think) comes with my disease and can get attached to the blog ... Since I don't want to be the "beechara" fellow... I would (hopefully sometime soon) start posting about more regular stuff (whatever that is) ...

And, from now on, I will mark lymphoma related posts with the label "Mission-Remission" ... this should help folks interested only in the Lymphoma story.

The past month and a half were supposed to be a break... a break from treatment which ended up being a break from blogging ... there was a lot of action in this time ... which would have made some interesting reading ... here's a sample ...

First there were the wild mood swings that came with steroid tapering-off ... I was taking some steroids as part of my Chemo ... actually "some" would be an understatement ... I was taking lots of steroids(about 10 times my body's natural production) ... This was soooo much that (in all probability) my body would have stopped making some of its own steroids (called "Cortisol") ... with the ending of chemo, the huge dosage of steroids had to end too - The plan was to taper the steroids down to Zero in 15 days ... these 15 days (and a week afterwards) turned into my personal flower-power days ... I went thru withdrawal symptoms that only the most wasted junky can boast of... there were cycles of depressive lows followed by ebullient highs ... lots of cranky behaviour that my wife(Afshan) gracefully endured, and I thoroughly enjoyed.

By the time the freak-mood subsided, my drug-induced diabetes had also vanished. Now I can hog whatever I like, as much as I like ... thank god for small mercies.

Then came the nice girl (Ananya Dasgupta) from CNN-IBN. She suggested that I do a citizen journalist report. Being ever so fond of "footage", I obliged and got my 5 minutes on national TV ... ideally I would have preferred being featured as a filthily-rich-guy... but that's still years away ... right now I have to settle for the citizen journo clip, which, apart from being for a good cause, qualifies as an "A" Grade look-mom-i-am-on-TV moment ... You can check out my citizen journo efforts at CNN-IBN website (by clicking here) ... The clip was immediately followed by a live discussion (Link here) ... pls discount the wrong age and the slightly sentimental pen-sketch.

I took part in the live discussion from Hyderabad ... had gone there to get a PET Scan done ... The scan is the one of the best available methods of detecting cancer ... it works like this - first they injecting some radioactive glucose in the blood ... then they take a picture of radioactivity that builds up inside the body ... Since the cancer cells eat-up 5-6 times more glucose than normal cells, they show up as bright spots in the PET Scan image ... My doctor tells me that my test results are good ... there is no "active disease" left in my body ... He shied away from using the word "Remission" ... mostly because the "residual mass" (leftover fibre and dead-tissue at the tumour site) has not reduced by the amounts that he wanted ...

So I am on "Mission-Remission" ... which starts off tomorrow with the first dose of radiation ... Will keep you guys posted about Mission-Remission and other interesting topics ...

Comming back to life

Finally the chemo-therapy is over ... with that phase-I of fight against cancer has been completed.

I have shifted back to Delhi to rest, recuperate and rejuvenate. The whole aim is to the get the body and mind out of the effects of cancer treatment ... and get back to life

The first steps are already on the way ... I am slowly tapering off the corticosteroids (that I was taking) ... hoping that my metabolism will slowly come to speed on its own. More about this story in the following posts.

Right now, I will leave you with some visuals of the growth next to my heart.

This is how my chest looked about one year back. An expert can detect initial signs of lymphoma, but my doctor missed those signs completely. The lymphoma was later aught in an x-ray 6 months down the line. If it had been caught at the time of this x-ray treatment would have been much shorter and easier.


This is how the chest looked when I got the X ray in December last. The chest doctor suspected that I had TB. He asked for tests, but started off with TB before the tests could confirm/deny TB. I took that medication for more than a month.

In the first month of TB treatment, I started having difficulty in breathing and swallowing.
I met more doctors and they started hinting that I might have something other than TB. At that stage I got this X-ray taken in first week of Jan 07. It showed significant increase in tumour (In just one month's time). I got a laproscopic biopsy two days after this X-ray. That biopsy confirmed cancer

This is how my chest looked yesterday. Chemo therapy has taken out most of the tumour. But still I can see that some residual tissue still remains.

Chemo 12 - .

It's over ... and I am happy
:-)

Chemo 11 - The Buzzzz

Having done Adriamycin and Cyclophosphamide on 5 earlier occasions, I was expecting nothing new on the 6th.

I was in for a surprise ... thanks to something called cumulative dose which makes a repeat of the same old drug a whole new experience (not a pleasant one at that)

... in plain speak - repeat doses of the chemo drug causes more effects and side-effects than the initial doses. This is because - Any drug takes some time to leave the body, some of the drug remains in the body for quite a while (funda of half-life). The effect (of the drug) lasts much longer than the drug itself. So, the effect of repeat dose adds up to the effect of the initial dose (thus curing me faster). Sadly the side-effects also add up (e.g. so the mouth ulcers come faster and cause more trouble etc). Worst is the accumulated toxicity - most of the chemo drugs have a cumulative toxicity levels ... one is not supposed to take more than a particular amount ... even when that amount is spread over many days ... and wisely so ... I don't see much fun in a cancer free life if that life comes with failed Kidneys, dysfunctional liver and failing lungs.

... The body also makes its contribution or rather refuses to make it contribution (of putting putting up a good fight). It gets tired of fighting the Chemo ... gets hit faster and takes more time to bounce back.

Well, now that things are in perspective, the immediate effect of 11 Chemo can be described as a very strong buzz (less like a good high more like a bad hangover) in the head ... coupled with water tasting bitter (the torture is - my kidney will get damaged if don't drink something like 5 litres of liquid) ... coupled with bouts of extreme fatigue ... coupled with uneasiness ... upset stomach ... nausea etc etc.

That's all reduced by today ... and will get much better by the time I am ready for the last Chemo ... which is on the good day of Thursday ... it was supposed to be on friday ... but the coming friday is "Good Friday" (commemorating the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazreth ... definitely not a day to celebrate) ... so the doc advanced the chemo by a day.

Before signing off ... It's been a month since I have replied to mails ... don't hold it against me ... will catch up once the chemo gets over and the body gets recharged ...

till later ...

Goodbye Shaheer

Shaheer, the 3 year old from Peshawar, died today ...

I hope there actually is some place called heaven and the little boy goes there ...

Makes me wonder ... Why the children? ... and then my thought goes to the parents ... They came with two kids and hope for a cure ... and now, when they are leaving ... one of the boys will be in a wooden box ...

For ages their land (near Khyber-pass in Hindukush) has been one of the most important connections between India and rest of the world ... today they have to fly to a third country (Dubai) to get back home ...

Life is strange ...

A Thought for Shaheer

Folks spare a thought and a prayer for Shaheer, the 3 year old boy from Peshawar who underwent a Bone Marrow Transplant. Shaheer's graft (donated by his 2 year old brother) was accepted, but he has developed a serious complication called (possibly Drug Induced) Interstitial Pneumonia. None of the medicines seem to be working- the kid is on lung machine, heavy dose of Morphine and Steroids. He is fighting for his life in the ICU.

Such Interstitial Pneumonia is not very common here (someone said more common in radiation tratment patients in Australia). This is the first case in 15 years in CMC. If you know a Heamatology/Oncology/Pulmonology doctor who has successfully dealt with Interstitial Pneumonia (after Bone Marrow Transplant) and would be available on mail/phone then do let me know at baawara@gmail.com - Pls stop your search ... the little boy is no more


I hope the kid pulls thru ..