भाग्य भविष्य का जीवन ज्ञान - 1

यह ज्ञान "लाल किताब के टोटके व उपाय" नामक पुस्तक से अर्जित है.

" लाल किताब .." वह पुस्तक है जो की सुख-सम्पति, सौभाग्य और शांति के लिए लिखी गयी है.

इस पुस्तक के माध्यम से आप अपनी सभी तक्लीफों, दुखों एवं परेशानियों से छुटकारा पा सकते हैं.

निम्नलिखित नियमों का पालन किये बिना नौ ग्रहों के उपाय का फल निष्प्रभावी सिद्ध होगा -

• शंख-ध्वनी प्रातःकाल अवश्य करें
• तुलसी का वृक्ष अवश्य लगायें
• ब्राह्मणों को भोजन अवश्य कराएँ
• लक्ष्मीजी की उपासना अवश्य करें
• एकादशी के दिन दान अवश्य करें
• दिन में मैथुन न करें
• नग्न हो कर स्नान न करें
• माता पिता का अनादर न करें
• सास, श्वसुर एवं परिवार के सदस्यों को आदर दें
• नित्य प्रातःकाल बड़ों से आशीर्वाद लें
• मदिरा का सेवन न करें
• तन-मन से भोजन ग्रहण करें
• सूर्य की ओर मुख करके लघुशंका न करें
• ऋण लेकर अवश्य चुकाएं
• टूटे बर्तन घर में न रखें
• खाने से पहले गौ-ग्रास अवश्य निकालें
• गंजे आदमी से दोस्ती न करें

It's a small world

Here's an interesting one -

Late Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran ... of the Rushdie fatwa fame (older generations might remember the overthrow of Shah's regime)

... He has a huge India connection ... It seems his grandfather was born in Barabanki , India and grumps supposedly lived in Lucknow for a long time ... said to have moved on when the British gained the upper hand in India ... the Ayatollah's born name - "Ruhollah ibn Mustafa Musawi Khomeini Hindi" ... so he was called "the Indian" ....

Interestingly .... the guy against whom he pronounced the (in)famous fatwa- Salman Rushdie .... also has Indian roots ... He was born in India and he studied in Bombay

aren't the Indians everywhere ...

Complan works best on girls

Don't believe me ???

It's not my imagination ... it was proven in a scientific experiment

This well regulated study was started when Ayesha Takia and Shahid Kapoor were kids ... what did you say - they still look like kids !! ... well well ... this was started they were real kids.

At that time, in keeping with scientific temperament and in the quest for the enlightened truth, they were given Complan


A few days back the results were evaluated -

Shahid hasn't done that well ... He has managed to grow just 2 inches more than the average Indian male( avg height 5'5") ... Even today he looks slightly smallish and does boyish things ... Here is a picture of Shahid

Ayesha, on the other hand, has grown quite well. She is a good 5 inches taller than the average Indian female(avg height 5'0") and is sumptuously endowed in other dimensions too. Latest pic (wearing green) -

Conclusion - Complan definitely has different effects on boys and girls

sources - video by psvyas on youtube, Ayesha from masalaababes Shahid from bollywood.ac
Note - Some of the external sources are not as discrete as I am ... they may carry titillating and objectionable images.

Lemonade - A good use for life's lemons

some wise guy in England has set up a "young people repellent" - something called a "mosquito" - read a BBC piece about it This "mosquito" thingy emits a shrill annoying noise that is audible to only the young ... the irritating noise is supposed to keep the trouble-making teenagers and other young people away

Note: It is "SUPPOSED" to keep the young away ... but no one told the young about this supposedly intended purpose ... so, the young have put the mosquito noise to good use ... this economist piece points out

British teenagers have already shown how the table can be turned. Using mobile phones to record the silent-to-many output of the Mosquito machines they have used the sound to disrupt classes by irritating fellow students while teachers remain oblivious. And in schoolrooms, where mobiles are banned, the sound is a useful semi-private ringtone. In an already noisy world an arms race of sound is not to be welcomed.

Shikaar-e-Naukari

Shikaar-e-Naukari ... sounds like the name of a complex poem ... it probably is complex ... but it definitely is not poetic ... it's more of a slaying-the-beast kind of a thing ... this Shikaar-e-Naukari (a bad translation of the word "Job-Hunt")

In all possibility "hunting" would have been an adventure thing even in the times of the early man ... only brave men (women?) would have entered the forests to slay the beast ... possibly to protect their fellow tribesmen, cattle or fields ... or maybe to kill a lunch or a dinner ...

With advances in technology (spear ... bow and arrow) and society (division of labour ... surplus produce ... specialized fighters) the odds would have tilted away from the hunted and in favour of the hunter ... fear would have come down ... and men would have started enjoying the hunts ...

Those looking for some thrills would go for the kills ... We know that Raja-Maharaajas, Nawabs and other assorted muchchads hunted for pleasure ... and the English and their (its turned ours now) language took the adventure-sport of killing a step further - it called it "Game" hunting...

Times have changed from then ... today shooting with the gun is out of fashion ...most of the shooting takes place thru the lens of a camera ... but the thrill of the kill remains ... and that is good news for me ... for I am on a Job Hunt

The fun part began with the resume ... something I last made when I was in b-school ... more than 3 years back ... in fact I had kissed my CV goodbye on the day I started on my own firm ... thankfully there was an old copy stashed somewhere in my yahoo briefcase ... so with a little copying of formats (thank you G) I could reconstruct most of the CV ...

The issues while making a CV are many

- size - one can make a five pager with intricate details of each project (technology, business domain, learnings, contributions, achievements, reporting structure blah blah blah) ...

- details - Some put a section on non-verifiable and usually cliche skills (out of box thinker,excellent communicator,team-player,eye for details etc etc) ...

- level of cow-dung (bull-shit for non-feminists) - Some people like to open with a paragraph of pompous self-boast e.g - A dynamic go-getter, with a penchant for innovation, drive for success, working as a catalytic change-agent zzzzzzz ..... others put more non-verifiable bullshit in the (believe-it-or-not) achievement's section e.g- Helped underprivileged blind children climb mount everest while carrying mother Teressa on my shoulders...

- Font - Thankfully laziness saved me the trouble of choosing fonts ... I unashamedly copied (smart worker, champion of efficiency enhancing methods like re-use) from the standard IIMB format
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There were lots of other things ... but, for your benefit, I will cut the story short (or else I lose the very few readers who have bothered to read this far).

so what did I do? ... ... you might have guessed it right -I took the shortcut ... made a one-pager (size limits the amount of bull-shit) and sent it to friends for feedback ... Oh yes - I have been a quality guy ... I know the pluses of peer-review ...

The feedbacks are in and I am into the final draft ... hopefully it will not carry too much of embellishing bull ...

as Jigar Muradabadi had said

sab hi andaaz-e-husn pyaare hain
hum magar saadgi ke maarey hain

signing-off today with thank-yous to xl, uncle, pareekh, andy and jim

We didn't start the bubble - too good

Way cool

Note- Pilfered from a usually biased and occasionally good blog (sort of like lotus in the middle of muck)

A Rupee for petroleum

Lately the financial newspapers and blogs have started carrying loads of hu ha about petroleum and currencies ... should crude be traded in Euros ? ... should it be priced in Dollars ? ... does it really matter? ... who keeps his forex reserves where? ... who's weaving a basket for his currency? ... the issues are every where ... so I have come up with this novel suggestion

It would be good fun if, instead of running after dollar, pound, yer and euros, the persian gulf countries moved on to the Indian Rupee ... moving to the rupee wouldn't be such a strange thing for the sheiks ... they are already familiar with it ... in the olden times the Indian Rupee was in wide circulation in the gulf ... things went to such an extent that RBI had to issue special notes, popularly called gulf rupee, for the region ...

The gulf rupee was similar to the indian rupee except the fact that it was in different colours and the serial numbers included an extra "Z". Here's how the 1, 5,10 and 100 gulf rupee notes looked like (pics taken from Qatar Central Bank site)